well...i cant let anyone outdo me now can i?
okay yeah i can im not that stubborn, but i'm blogging anyway :)
i wish i could say i really smiled just then but i didnt. actually i haven't REALLY smiled since saturday, and before that who knows?!
i really really miss my boyfriend, i have other guys hitting on me and it's absolutely ridiculous like really? if im hurt by it then OBVIOUSLY it's not a problem between me and him so FUCK OFF.

so im completely LOST without him. i really cant stand this i feel like a huge chunk of me is missing, and my heart is burning, and i'm being torn apart, and someone's stabbing me over and over, and i'm not eating, and just depressed.
i mean i guess i probably seem like some rebel teenager to my mom, but im not.
AND difficulties and bumps does not mean im looking for someone new!
you've been trying for nearly two years, there is a REASON we have yet to even hang out.
so stop it. if i want you i'll pursue you, stop putting yourself in the line of rejection.
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i cant stand people who try to pry there way into a relationship. its ridiculous. you're not gonna guilt me into dating you if that's what you think. in fact even if i was interested in the first place it's a total turn off. i get that you like me and all, but its ridiculous.
and no you DONT stand a chance. not even if we stay in touch, not even if me and adam break up, not even if you were the only sane guy left on the planet.

anyway onto the real problems now.
I MISS MY BOYFRIEND, he is the absolute light of my life and without him my world is black.
i just want to wrap my arms around him and have him tell me we'll kick the worlds ass together.
what i would give just to be able to see him.
:(
i want my life back thats all. i would take an 8 oclock curfew and limits and anything just to have him back.
it's not fair that on one hand she's telling me i need to grow up and start making my own decisions and on the other she's trying to run my life without even letting me have my two cents.
i mean most teenagers have figts with their parents, but most parents at least listen to their kids. maybe without any intention of agreeing but they let them talk. not my mom though. heaven forbid i be more logical than her. that would crush her so badly. ughhh i have to take a break i cant talk about this any more. im so sick of it and sick of everyone feeling sorry for me and sick of that mother fucker trying to make his way in even though he says he "hopes things work out for me and adam" whatever. he just thinks thats what i wanted to hear figured that'd get his foot in the door. well it didnt.